Category: Life

Nine Months of Ringing

ssegraves

When the first lock downs in the United States were announced I was returning from a work trip to Montreal. On the flight home I had not felt great but was not worried about Covid-19. The next day I felt a little better and went out for a lunch at a restaurant not knowing it would be the last time I’d have a sit down meal inside of a place for now 9 months.  On Saturday I woke up with what I can only describe as the worst ear pain I have ever experienced. My left ear felt like it was going to explode. Nothing I did relieved the pain and I eventually gave in and went to a ZoomCare clinic because finding an appointment at my primary care physician was not possible. The ZoomCare nurse said “yep, you have an ear infection”, gave me some antibiotic drops and sent me home. At first it seemed like the drops were working but on the second day of using them I noticed fluid coming from my ear and then blood.

I returned to ZoomCare and they put me on stronger antibiotics but also suggested I see my primary care doctor. I gave that doctor a call as I left and while my doctor wasn’t available his nurse practitioner was so I was able to get in. When the nurse practitioner looked at my ear she became very concerned that the infection had moved into the bone in my ear canal. A couple of higher strength antibiotics were given, including an oral one to try and fight the infection internally. They also made an emergency appointment with an ENT (ear, nose, and throat) specialist in case the infection was in the bone.

The scheduling process for the ENT was not easy as Covid had pretty much shut the practice down. The schedulers wanted to make sure that the appointment was absolutely necessary and that I had no symptoms of Covid. Again, I was in excruciating pain, I couldn’t drive because it hurt to move my head certain ways.

My appointment required a Covid test but the visit itself went fine. The ENT was convinced that the infection was not in my bone. He did confirm that my eardrum had burst and applied some thick steroids and antibiotics to the eardrum and kept me on heavy duty antibiotics. He also stated that he thought it would be a quick recovery and that the pain should really start to fade in the next day or two.

Returning home from that appointment felt like relief. There was a plan, some meds, and an optimistic view from the doctor. Sure enough, the pain started to fade away the next day and I started to really feel like I was improving. A week went by and the pain was completely gone but I was still having fluid in my ear so I returned to the ENT (after another Covid test) where I was told that stronger steroids needed to be applied, so that was done. I was also told that my hearing would eventually return and to be patient.

The waiting

After two months of carefully treating my ear I still felt like I could not hear very well still had a constant ringing in my left ear from when all of this started. The ENT wanted me to come in and having a hearing test and to just double check my ear. My hearing test came back with my results essentially being no different than a test that was performed a few years ago. The doctor did notice some scar tissue on my eardrum but did not see any fluid behind it. His explanation for the ringing was that eventually it would fade.

But, here we are 7 months later and my left ear still rings. I still have trouble understanding conversation when there is a lot of background noise or if the conversation is more on my left side. Even small background noises interfere with my ability to fully hear and distinguish words in a conversation. During conversations the ringing is there but is mostly just an annoyance. During silent moments the ringing is distracting and frustrating because it is all I hear.

As a Covid vaccine makes its way around the world I am really hoping it is easier to find a new ENT to get a second opinion. The reduced hearing is my biggest concern with the ringing a close second. I’d like to be able to have a conversation with people without having to adjust my head or hear ringing in the background. That’s all I really want in 2021.

Tree from Hell

ssegraves
Tree of Heaven Growing Next to a House
A tree of heaven growing out of the side of a porch in Portland, OR

I have been fighting an enemy that continually sends in reinforcements and those reinforcements seem to pop up in all kinds of locations that are meant to ambush me. Locations that are hard to reach or they show up even stronger than before, attempting to break my will to fight them. I’m talking of course about the tree of heaven or Ailanthus altissima, or as I like to call it, the tree from hell. Go ahead, read up on this kryptonite of a tree, but if you don’t have time for that, here are some quick, important points about it.

  1. The tree of heaven crowds out native species and secretes a chemical into the soil that is toxic to surrounding plants.
  2. The tree’s aggressive root system can cause damage to pavement, sewers and building foundations.
  3. If the plant has matured, cutting alone will only help temporarily by reducing its ability to spread.
  4. The wood is useless. It is brittle and has no structural value and burns poorly.
  5. The cuttings smell like burning garbage.

Those are just a few of the issues with the tree of heaven. Really, it comes down to how easily it spreads and how quickly it grows. I can rip out the seedlings, getting all of the root, but more plants will show up in a week or so. If I give the plants more than a month, then their roots become established and it’s even harder to get rid of it. There are two full grown tree of heaven next door to our house in the exact disturbed soil that they so much love and they are constantly dropping seeds. On a windy day those seeds get carried all over the neighborhood and we’ll find seedlings growing on our evening walks. Some people let the seedlings grow because it looks like a tree, but they don’t understand that it is invasive. They don’t know that it spreads so fast it’s hard to control. Even in the image at the top of this post, there is another tree growing across the street from the mother tree. It spreads like a disease.

Unfortunately, the city of Portland has been somewhat reluctant to take fast action against the tree and they are popping up everywhere. Part of the issue is that the city says it’s a “nuisance” tree not “invasive”, even though a post on their website calls it invasive. Since the tree is a nuisance, it requires a paid permit to remove. This should be a case where the city sends a worker out, confirms it’s a tree of heaven and lets the trees removal occur without a permit. It’s going to cost property owners enough just to get them removed, and it’s not a single step process. Even with the tree cut down, there are multiple applications of chemicals needed to kill the root system and insure the plant doesn’t come back. The other option for the homeowner is that they let the tree grow and risk it causing physical property damage.

Tree of Heaven on a sidewalk

The big headache comes when a tree of heaven hits a sewer or water main. Only then does the city care about the tree and the problems it causes. There’s a train yard not far from our neighborhood and there swaths of trees of heaven covering parts of the yard. I would guess because it’s open area where wind can easily blow, they are one of the main spreader areas for the tree of heaven.

For my fellow Portlanders please give the city a call if you see one of these trees on city property; They are commonly on sidewalks next to power line poles and near fence lines. If you need help with the tree of heaven, you can also contact TenPDX.

Please, wear a mask

ssegraves

One of the more troubling trends during the Covid-19 pandemic is the refusal to wear a mask by segments of the U.S. population. The reason to wear a mask while in a building or in large groups is simple; When everyone (or a majority) of people are masked, the spread of the disease will be minimized by limiting how much of the disease makes it into the air. And researchers are investigating the possibility that exposure to less of the virus means either not catching Covid-19 or only having very minor symptoms.

Masks in Italy
by Stefano Annovazzi Lodi

The reasons people don’t want to wear masks are varied and in some cases ridiculous. One of the crazier claims is that wearing a mask will make the wearer inhale too much CO2. Unless you have an underlying medical condition or difficulty breathing to begin with, this claim is simply false. From Dr. Bill Carroll PhD at the University of Indiana:

“It has to be a pretty high concentration to be capable of causing harm. CO2 is present in the atmosphere at a level of about 0.04%. It is dangerous in an atmosphere when it is greater than about 10%.”

Funnily enough, you can also be harmed by a lack of CO2 as well. From the same article, if you held your breath too much:

“If you hold your breath, you wind up with too much CO2. The core issue is that CO2 regulates the pH of the blood—too much CO2 and the blood becomes too acidic; too little and it becomes too basic (alkaline). In either case, your body detects the change in acidity and you pass out, which is the body’s way of saying, ‘please stop fooling with me and breathe normally.’”

So, if you insist on not wearing a mask because you think you’ll breathe in too much CO2, please also don’t hold your breath either.

And most places asking (or telling) you to wear a mask are making it clear that children are not required to wear one nor are people with breathing problems. In fact, in the requirements I’ve seen, places are explicitly stating that those groups shouldn’t wear a mask.

The other strange, but less surprising, reason that people are refusing to wear a mask is the “personal freedom” argument. This is the notion that wearing a mask violates some kind of personal freedom you have. I feel that this argument holds little water simply because in this case a personal freedom puts others at risk. The wearing of a mask isn’t just to protect you the wearer, it’s to also protect the others around you and with large segments of the population wearing such a mask, the risk goes down, even for those who can’t wear one. So, by arguing that your personal freedom is being violated you are essentially saying you don’t care what happens to anyone around you (or yourself).

Is it fun wearing a mask? No, not really. But my personal, temporary discomfort is a small price to pay to help fight the fight against Covid-19 and help make the reopening process less dangerous.

I am fascinated that this is such a controversial issue in the United States. In East Asia wearing a mask is commonplace when there are public health risks and in Japan, this practice stretches back to the 1918 Flu pandemic. This Time article gives some insight into why here in the States it’s such a big deal:

The difference in perception of the mask comes down, in part, to cultural norms about covering your face, he says. “In social interactions in the West, you need to show your identity and make eye contact. Facial expression is very important.”

I say, social norms be damned. A few paragraphs later in the story, there is the sentiment in Hong Kong:

“Wearing a face mask is just common sense. It creates a barrier, so nothing can touch your nose and mouth. Why wouldn’t I wear a face mask?” Says Ho.

So, there are very few negative aspects of wearing a mask and while it’s effectiveness will likely never be completely understood, there is some evidence that it helps, so why not wear one?

Lastly, airlines are now enforcing their face mask requirements more stringently and in some cases saying that passengers could be banned from flying the carrier if they refuse to wear one. I’m nearly 100% positive someone out there will challenge this in court and such a move goes back to my above point, personal comfort should not trump public safety in the time of a pandemic. But again, I am sure someone will try to make the argument that they shouldn’t have to wear a mask.

In any case, unless you are someone who can’t wear mask due to health reasons, please, please, please, put the mask on when you go into a business or are around a lot of people. Please.

Quarantine

ssegraves

Quarantine, social distancing, self-isolation, whatever you want to call it, we’re all in the middle of it right now (well, some of us). I am recovering from a nasty ear infection, but otherwise healthy. We’ve only left the house to grab some groceries for some friends who are on a mandatory quarantine for 14 days after being out of the country, to pickup a takeout dinner, and to walk the dog to the park. It is strange to not hear the normal traffic or see people out doing things. Yesterday on my way to pickup takeout I realize that it was the fewest number of cars I have ever seen on the road.

A time before social distancing at Prater Garten in Berlin.

A lot of Portland restaurants are delivering which is great and allows customers to still support them while this is going on. At the same time, a number of restaurants, bars, etc. have closed and sadly I have my doubts that they will ever open their doors again. Closer to us, friends are being laid off due to the lack of work and hours for others are being cut.

This is supposedly a great time for introverts, “we were built for this” is the slogan. I’m an introvert and while I somewhat agree, we as humans are a social species. We enjoy going to a restaurant to share a meal or a bar to have a drink and talk about our lives. Even the small social interactions that we take for granted have been yanked from us, the “good morning” to the bus driver, the small talk with your coffee shop barista, or the banter at a local shop have all suddenly disappeared. Sure we can use Zoom or some other video conferencing software, but being physically close to someone while you talk is a special experience that I don’t think online video mimics.

Patience also seems like a virtue that has vanished during all of this. Grocery stores, where we should be vigilant at keeping distance between each other have become thunderdomes for selfishness. People not patient enough for someone else to pick something are bumping into each other and generally being rude. This is the time for patience to win. I don’t want to be in the stores any longer than I need to be, but there is no reason for us to put each other at risk by rushing. Take a breath, we’ll get through this.

At Home

I will be the first to admit that I am going a little stir crazy. A walk around the neighborhood helps, but I’ve been fighting an ear infection for the last two weeks that has left me temporarily deaf in my left ear. This makes walking an adventure that I’m not necessarily prepared for. I can’t hear things coming from my left so my reaction time is much slower, so getting out of the house isn’t the most fun.

Inside the house I am working my normal job but also trying to come up with things to do. Writing this was on my list. Writing more is next. I have a few programming project ideas that I would like to start and this weekend will be a good opportunity for that. Organizing my wreck of desk is also something I should do, even though it is the one thing that interests me the least.

So, what are you doing with your time? How are you dealing with social distancing?

“It’s Complicated” with Facebook

ssegraves

Like a lot of people, I have considered ending my relationship with Facebook. There are plenty of reasons why…

The Reading Room by Susan Jane Golding
The Reading Room by Susan Jane Golding

Facebook Is Giving Advertisers Access to Your Shadow Contact Information

“I think that many users don’t fully understand how ad targeting works today: that advertisers can literally specify exactly which users should see their ads by uploading the users’ email addresses, phone numbers, names+dates of birth, etc,” said Mislove. “In describing this work to colleagues, many computer scientists were surprised by this, and we’re even more surprised to learn that not only Facebook, but also Google, Pinterest, and Twitter all offer related services. Thus, we think there is a significant need to educate users about how exactly targeted advertising on such platforms works today.”

#deletefacebook

“Facebook is using us. It is actively giving away our information. It is creating an echo chamber in the name of connection. It surfaces the divisive and destroys the real reason we began using social media in the first place – human connection. — It is a cancer.”

The Facebook hack affecting 50 million people also let the attackers access users’ Tinder, Spotify, and Instagram accounts

“So what happened? In short, the attackers found a way to trick Facebook into issuing them “access tokens” — basically, digital keys — that let them access other users’ accounts as if they were that user. After spotting some unusual activity earlier this month, Facebook realized what was going on on Tuesday evening and subsequently revoked these access tokens before disclosing the hack publicly on Friday — though not before 50 million people were affected.”

The problem is that giving up Facebook is more complicated than simply deleting it and moving on. I know a lot of people say “your real friends have your number, they’ll call or text you” but I have a number of friends who are spread across the globe. Sure a call or a text would be great but with time zones and internet connections, the easiest way to stay in touch is with Facebook or WhatsApp or Instagram. Facebook and Instagram give this passive way of communicating and keeping up while WhatsApp is an easy way to have a chat without having to worry about what time it is where my friends are.

Deep down I don’t really care about browsing Facebook for general updates, but for friends that I do like to stay in touch with, it has becoming an easy place to post photos or life updates. Because of that I keep using it. The problem is that Facebook is “easy”. I know, I know, there are alternatives like Telegram, which I do use, or Yammer for groups. But these require another website/login. Facebook is easy for family and friends to upload things, write posts, etc. without having to worry about another service or login and since tons of people already use it, they are instantly connected.

Again, I know what you’re going to say, “the only way to get people to start using other tools is to leave yourself”. You are probably right and I have come very close to just leaving Facebook and relying on this site and Flickr to stay in touch with people. Each time I get close to leaving I see a post from a friend about something awesome in their life or some sad news and I get dragged back in. Maybe it is one of those things where I just cut the Facebook cord and move on. The repercussions get felt later on and maybe they just aren’t that bad.

What would you do? Have you left Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp yet? If so, how has it gone?

2017 – Of Goals and Hopes

ssegraves

Happy New Year!

I am not one to make New Year’s resolutions but as we enter 2017 I did want to share some goals I have for this year. Things that I hope to accomplish and hopes I want to strive for.

  • Take more photos. I was looking through my 2016 albums and realized that I did not take nearly enough photos, so I am challenging myself with a goal of taking at least one photo a day and posting it on my Flickr page. I posted the image for January 1 below.
  • Travel more. My travel in 2016 really fell off for a number of reasons but I would like to get back to seeing the world. A few of my destination goals in 2017 are the Balkans, Georgia, Namibia, Laos, Vietnam, and Japan.
  • Read more. I have let reading really fall by the wayside over the last few years but my goal in 2017 is to read 50 books. I will be tracking my progress using Goodreads’ challenge tracker.
  • Donate more. We have a few causes that we love helping and it is a hope and goal of mine in 2017 that we pursue those more closely both monetarily and with our time. I also want to be a source of encouragement for others to participate and contribute in charity and caring for those who are less fortunate.

So, those are my goals for 2017. I hope to post some of the photography work here, but definitely keep me honest via that Flickr page. Not seeing a new photo in a while? Send me a note on Twitter. What are your hopes and goals for 2017?

What I am reading | May 2016

ssegraves

* The links to Amazon on this post are affiliate links that do generate revenue for me and this site. *

My friend Patrick tweeted a few months ago about how excited he was about the season two of Bosch being released. I had never watched the show and actually only really heard about it in passing, so I decided to watch an episode and see if it was something interesting. About three episodes into the first season and I was hooked. So hooked in fact that I watched the entire first season in a couple of days. When the second season was released, I watched it just as quickly.

I usually watch things on my iPad when I am traveling because the inflight entertainment on most airlines is not filled with the greatest content or things that I want to watch. Well, after I finished watching Bosch I read up on the book series that inspired the show and was intrigued. The show is an adaptation of Michael Connelly’s Bosch series. From the titles, you may not realize they are Bosch books but they are and Amazon is pretty good at showing you which ones are in the series and what Connelly’s other titles are. Note, Connelly also wrote The Lincoln Lawyer, which became a movie and is Connelly’s first novel in the Mickey Haller series.

After digging into all of this I decided I would buy the first three books in the Bosch series, The Black Echo, The Black Ice, and The Concrete Blonde. I am about halfway through The Black Echo and really enjoying Connelly’s writing style. He is detailed but not so much so that you lose interest and skip descriptions. The details add value to the story and I appreciate his taking the time to think through putting you into Bosch’s mind. The books don’t completely line up with the Amazon show, so if you are expecting that, just be aware that the two are set in different time periods and Bosch in the books is a Vietnam vet, not an Iraqi war vet. It’s a minor difference and not one that has diminished the reading experience.

The books are great “lounging around” reading. I am pretty much carrying it everywhere I go and reading little bits as I get the time. Doing a bit more reading has been a recent goal and the Bosch series is definitely helping to kick start that habit. I guess I have Patrick to thank for piquing my interest in the show!

What it feels like to be adopted at 17

ssegraves

What it feels like to be adopted at 17

This beautiful and sad story of pain, suffering, and ultimately redemption and healing is worth reading.

Afterwards there was a moment when I hugged my mom, and all my siblings came around me and wrapped their slinky little arms around legs or purses or whatever they could get to. My dad even bumbled in on it, and he’s not one to get very emotional. I was shaking and I couldn’t let go of my mom — memories of the things they had done to fight for me over the years shot through me like fire. I closed my eyes and rested on her shoulder. I had found my way home. These people had always been my family.

I’m Falling

ssegraves

The alarm buzzed, I rolled over, shutting off the annoying chime I set it to like I do every morning. I sat up, started to move my feet from the bed to the floor and all of the sudden it felt like I was floating. “I must still be really tired” I told myself as I put my feet on the floor and stood up. Then I was reaching for the wall balancing myself. Straight to the restroom and then back to bed, the whole time feeling like I was falling over. I send an e-mail to my boss: “Not feeling well, will work from home today.”

That’s how my Friday started. It is now Tuesday, four days after I first experienced the worst vertigo in my life, and that vertigo is still around, rearing it’s ugly head any time I try to do something quickly. Turn my head; Falling. Bend over to grab something; Falling. Rollover in bed; Falling. Normalcy seems to have come to a screeching halt on Friday. The doctor’s office was booked full when all of this hit so my wife took me to a non-emergency clinic, neither of us put vertigo into the “critical” column, ruling out the emergency room. I’ll just say the drive there involved a lot of nausea (and its results).

The staff were prompt in looking at me and quickly ruled out a neurological issue. They settled on something I had never heard of, vestibular neuritis. Essentially it is an inflammation of the inner ear, usually caused by a viral infection. There are not a lot treatment options, basically control the vertigo, nausea, vomiting, etc. as much as possible. The staff at the clinic said it could be a week or a month until it dissipates. The vertigo medication has done little to relieve my symptoms but my body seems to have adjusted to the nausea, at least somewhat.

After a short discussion, my wife and I decide a second opinion is in order and I made a follow-up appointment with my family practice for Monday night. We went and the doctor again confirms no neurological worries as well as the vestibular neuritis diagnosis. My vertigo is not dependent enough of direction to be BPPV, which has a few different treatment options. There is also a slight chance that what I have is something called Meniere’s Disease, but the doctor wants to hold off testing to see if my symptoms dissipate.

Today, Tuesday, has been a little worse than the last two days. There is ringing in both of my ears and I don’t seem as “sharp” as I did yesterday. Doing little things like taking a shower have become tedious adventures that require my full attention. I think the only way to describe it is to imagine being on a Merry-go-Round and spinning as fast as you can, then stepping off and trying to do your taxes. Now apply that to everything you do. Even this post is hard to write. Focusing is not easy when you are putting a lot of brain power into making sure you don’t fall over. I am otherwise healthy though, so when we walked down to the car to go to the office, I’m sure I just looked drunk.

I am otherwise healthy. I have to remember that. This puts on hold a lot of things that I had planned and it triples the amount of work my wife is doing on day to day basis but she has taken it in stride. We can hope and pray this dissipates quickly but if it doesn’t, we keep moving together. Well, I’ll probably be a few steps behind her holding her hand, balancing myself.